Ever Wondered?

... in the times of developments there have been great advances in terms of science & technology, fiction, social sciences, medical sciences, astrophysics, marine biology, and numerous other disciplines... but still there are some queries that remain unanswered for me...



.. the greatest of encyclopedias have failed to come up with a solution to these problems....

Ever wondered...



Half the million population of this world is illiterate, they have no knowledge about the discovery of gravity...

Q: Do their feet float on the Earth surface?

Q: Does it have any effect on their live?

Q: Does it have any effect on their economic strength?



The Books of History have the records of the civilisation till the earliest of records... dating back to even the before Christ era (B.C.)..

Q: Does the study of these civilisations get me a placement in the software firms?

Q: Does these studies have any effect on the present or the future of the coming generations?



Scientists are trying their level best to discover the traces of life in mars?

Q: Is the living earth population not enough to bear and provide its needs and requirements?

Q: Do the starving millions of Africa have any effect on the steps towards the eradication of their poverty?



Browsing through the pages of the daily newspaper some time back, it read "scientists have proposed that there are only eight planets in the solar system, instead of the previous prediction of nine..''

Q: Do the World Problems of land and water solve due to these kind of discoveries?

Q: What is the gain that the scientists have in doing these kind of researches?



Q: Does the fiction by the greatest of writers have any effect on the meaningful world of a man?

I mean his family life, social life, economic strength......



Q: Do all the developments taking place in this world are needed?

Q: Isn't there a need of awareness among the thinkers and developers to take a step forward in matters involving the matters of living.... in spite of collecting the fossil remains of the million year older 'dinosaurs' ( thought to have existed..)

Q: Does the discoveries of galaxies or the development in the cure of Thalasseimia more important?

...Wouldn't it be more helpful in diverting all the resources towards the developments in matters involving man rather than devoting it to the galaxies...?



Isn't the world still illiterate in these terms as the greatest of thinkers are unaware of the need of the hour?

changing tracks... matters of the world really don't matter in my personal life, but similar to the above comments.. there are some regarding the real part of personal life.... ( feelings, emotions and me..)

Q: What if I stop thinking about the abnormalities in my life?

Q: What if I stop Blogging?

Q: What if my comments on this portal be devoid of the dots '....' ?

Q: What if my views about the modern love be agreed by the generation of today?

Can't the present teen generation exist without the illicit relationships existing between the opposite sexes today?

Q: What if " this soul walks down the park lane with a girl round my arms''?

There are several unexplored possibilities and exclusive thoughts left unattended in this world which shall be considered in life... to live it to its most away from pain and agony...
These interesting thoughts are the real ingredients towards the development of a great thinker, be it .. addressing the problems of the world or simply making the lives of millions of depressed, easy.
Thoughts really develop the minds, nourish the scope of thinking, broaden the level of understanding, leading in the development of a better individual..
wonder Why do I sound so professional today.... it's time that i have realised the way of living in this world... '' be a professional...''
hope this spirit remains for the coming days before I return to the cobwebs of my distressed web of life....

Before wishing adieu to all give it a thought....

Q: What if I quit smoking?...

signing of..
me 'n mA loNE souL

I Love....

...with the End semesters on the head the mind does not allow to think about feelings, emotions but the heart cant wait longer, its time that the heart wishes to be all with me, my pen & my feelings..
Over the days, life has taken a real change around me, a different routine, different people to interact away from the group of batch mates that used to be together.
to me life has changed in a better way, but what's life with complete satisfaction...
...."All that is Gold does not GLITTER".....

"Search for un accomplishments to live on...
Whats the fun in living with all desires fulfilled"

"Har aarzu puri ho to jeene ka kya mazaa...
jeene ke liye ek kami ki talaash kar...."

I never had to search all this, my life runs parallel with the quotes, unfulfilled desires reside by my doorstep...

14051. I was denied a visit to my"homeland" - feels like homeland...
just a simple point out of the endless list (point no. to be noted)...

It was just the other day that i felt i was being used. I never wanted to think on that line, but the heart always wins on commanding the thoughts.

The world never wants to listen to my feelings...
the pen in my hand just gave u, but I wish to continue....

I felt like being taken advantage of my simplicity.. I waited for a friend for long on expense of being questioned at the court of my uncle, my local guardian.
I had done that a million times back home, I got this feeling of being cheated for the first time...

Q: Do people hear don't deserve this treatment?
(OR)
Have I become selfish?

Q: Does only true friend exist...?
..or even true friend's exist..?

lost in the thoughts, i wondered whether my decision to confront with the abnormalities of this place, in this manner was right or wrong?
The fact remains that I have never deceived a souls whom i brought close to my heart..
I don't have the history of changing my minds on people.

I wonder whether the world thought of this part of the friendship?

An applause requires two hands, a beginning needs an end, a relationship requires a couple,

Don't commitment's in friendship be supplied through both the inlet valves?
Why does always one person compromise?
Even fairy tales have it...
"... the dwarfs lived happily ever after after the efforts of the hunter, without which they could never exist in peace and harmony....
..The End.."

I remember reading these lines.. down the lane.....

Q: Can favours done be ever returned...
- favours by god
-favours by parents
-favours by siblings
-favours by friends....

It's only the faith on the friend that has let me live all these years, in spite of the situation being in antonym...
It's this faith that still makes me think.. whenever I sit alone...

Dear Friend,

"a footstep has echoed in my dreary room, i don't know who has come in my gloomy room,

..there remains a sense of abode, or who else would in a strange room..

..there is no one in my room yet, i feel i have left a guest in the room,

..the echo of your voice, jingles in my lifeless room..

..hardly do i get a place to sleep, often its filled with your possessions,

the garden were we had strolled, someone has thrown that garden in the room,

this room looks at me and, the pain becomes deeper in this isolated room.."

- itsme

but one thing shall be bear in mind before i call it signing off...

"Har haal mein denge saath aapka..

par..

mere is pyaar ko kamzori na samajhna..."

t'll then

signing off

me 'n mA loNe souL

Good Afternoon

....
......
........
..........
Life has changed since the last time i had been here..
away from the routine life of the boarding i have at last started to gain momentum towards other concepts of my life. I have succeeded in putting complete brakes on the "unfortunate" routine.
Things have changed then..
friends have come closer... Sundays are not the same... Hours go by like minutes.... in real sense the engine of my life has finally started to crawl on its lines...
I think of the future today as heavy rain pours outside relieving of the severe heat (I suppose).

Wonder how will the End Semesters Examination go by as they wait only two weeks ahead.. lets hope for the best once again for this time...... just like i have kept hoping for the past twelve years of my education.
This is the time that most of the school teens await there fate... the results of their exams...
Down the lane... the moments never went by, the rush of blood almost split the veins.. the arteries seemed to bulge greater than the limb...

that's down the lane....

college results no more create that feeling.... I miss the pain...
The days of schooling...
It's time again that I have started longing for the school days to return back.... 'Old is Gold' they say..

This visit really had no real reason but it doesn't feel like living until I visit this portal frequently and abuse it for my purpose...
It's this portal that seems to never leave me alone, and promises to be together in every circumstances.... I have faith that this shall never deceive...
faith...

never trust.. always have faith...
i was counselling a friend the other day...

Just the simple reason that trust might be broken but faith continues to believe on inspite of all the jeopardy, simply because faith is that power that shall never be broken.
It's this faith that has really helped to overcome my routine life and build the tracks for a brand new journey. Trust would have just left me with scars hanging over a ceiling fan...
it's the faith that makes me remain existing until date.....

It's on this faith that I hope to live on and promise for a better tomorrow.....
hoping to come up with something new in a few days...

signing off
me 'N mA Lone SouL

State of Today

two fore limbs and two hind limbs with an elongated tail, less than 1mm total body aperture, the exact structure of "peter".
peter is a vampire of this place in real meaning.

17 yrs of education had taught that vampires suck fresh human blood through the neck, peter is different. It causes bacterial inflammations all over the place it crawls on the body. This time he had come to visit my lower pelvic girdle region.
Its been two days that i have left my resting square, the inflammations made the slightest movement impossible.

It was an awful day with no work except bed rest, with all friends out to the city.
I wondered will I ever be alright?
16hrs since then the limbs don't allow the finger movement.... what if I have reduced 85kg - 55 kg in 6 months, thanks to Hostel Mess, New boys Hostel, Integral University, Lucknow.
(Address recommended for obese, weight conscious people)

All this but the heart longs to stay on its motto. True!... that itself is the real essence of life.
Thought: When do I succeed to achieve my motto?

People live for someone or another in this world, parents, wife, fiance, family, friend....
I wish to live for friend's'.... Is it possible??
Does the plural ever exist. Quotes have it " A true friend.."
Does true friend's' exists??
It remains a big question..

I wish that I'm on the right path.....
Philosophers had said, everyday has a new beginning...
Unfortunate again this never happened even today. The mind again buzzed up with the same queries.
Well thanks to this portal that I'm existing today.... other than the prominent cigarette puff's supporting it.....
from the past few months i have been living on a new additional supplement...
sentimental, sad, old songs including love songs...]
I have realised the importance of music in my life... Atif Aslam, Sonu Nigam and numerous unnamed.....
People listen to love songs in memories of their fiance, crush.. both of which which never existed in my life.
Wonder why do I still love the songs?

AM i psycho??

But ever wondered implying these songs on your life...

"Dil ke raaste pe kaise tokhar maine khai,
tute khwaab saare ek maayusi hai chaaii..."

The sorry biography of my life...

My friend loves the line in memories of a female, i do them in memories of my life, the present state of my life...
I no more feel to talk about all this... wonder why not??

Thanks to a friend that i have been living all these days, or i would have been history....
Looking at the problems he faces, ups and downs of his moods has give a silver lining to live on.......

"Dil me magar jalte rahe,
chahat ke diye.. tere liye....,"

Hope every second, he wears a smile on his face, happiness be his heart beats, wish my every step be joy in his life.. his tears flow through my tear gland......

Hope that i achieve my aim in some way.....
Sorry females if you feel I'm gay... even the worst of accusations affects this soul no more...

signing off seems awkward but there is no option left with me....

"There is always a reason for everything,

a reason to love,

a reason to die,

reason to live,

reason to cry,

but if u cant find a reason to smile...

can I be reason for a while..."

Me 'n mA loNE souL

Looking Forward...to What?

Never ever look forward to anything in life...thats lesson numero uno that you must learn from it.

Never look forward to going somewhere.
Never look forward to going home
Never look forward expecting people to be there...and that too just because they say they will be.

Sometimes, people get a life of their own.
Sometimes, people take you for granted.
Sometimes, you might be the least important in someone's life...especially when they claim that you are the most important.
Sometimes, people tell you that they love you a lot...even when they cannot make a simple small sacrifice for u.

This is what life taught me the last one year...that I am alone in this world.

I have to fight my fights alone.
I have to walk my walks alone.
I have to learn my lessons alone.

I have to exist my life alone...

Loneliness has ironically started becoming my only company...sucking away all my memories...slowly taking away reasons to live...one by one...slowly, yet not slow enough.

It hurts to be alone when your friends want you to be there... some say that i don't call.Some say that i don't care...i don't even want to defend myself.Maybe because they can then give themselves a reason...an explanation...a satisfied feeling.

It is not that i choose to be alone.I can't help being alone anymore...loneliness is my only company on days.Good company/Bad company....i don't think like that anymore...

Life hurts...but you gotta live through it...at least exist...

"Life is a lesson,you learn it when you are through -Limpbiskit"

MeE

JB signin off...

The Last Breath...

Digestion failure, low blood count, feeling of guilty and total body pain...
holding the 10g ink shedder in my hand feels heavy..
looking at myself i feel ashamed of the skinny hands, the dirty ill-fated(30'') hips and the scars on the face due to the relentless scavengers, flies, bugs and many unwanted creatures, an unwelcome guests of the night at this place.

What a wonderful routine life to follow? Amazing it is to live on this way... but life goes on...

It was 09:30 in the morning, the Sunday seemed to be the largest ever in the centuries gone by.. almost 43 degree Celsius of heat the weather never permitted to even peek out of the balcony, but the urge for a puff, the urge for life dragged the soul out for a walk.
500m down the lane seemed like the never ending dunes of the Sahara Desert.

The day never seemed good, the heart never allowed it to be...
the feeling of uneasiness took cover, history repeated itself this Sunday.. the soul felt disregarded...
i felt cheated, i felt disgusted, i felt victim...

For all the time i had been spending, devoting for a friend the least of the favours asked went unanswered..
I was taunted of for my poverty...
clamping my heart , i said old is gold...
but "unfortunate" is now my routine life, this never happened.. no one bothered even glancing through at the state of this disillusioned clay piece...
I wonder whether the vessel of friendship has only an Inlet valve..?

An unanswered query went by...
Do I know my limits of friendship?

All this came only hours after i was denied a visit to my "town"...
Excellent... even the burnt over ash of the soul was not left to rest in peace..

One query....
Will my life ever evolve over all this for a new beginning or remain as an unsolved mystery like the physics of Universe...

Even the networks of galaxies seem solved compared to the mesh of my life....

Wonder why everything seems so unsolved?
Wonder why do I have all the problems in life?
Wonder why does the heart feel guilty after the greatest of deeds?

The eight inches stick no longer permits the flow of ink but my heart still promises to go on until the last breath...

Philosophers had said that "great beginnings in life have glimmer endings", my chapter of life seems to have come to its final stages..
just a few more years till the breath lasts, but the path for life is over...
life in means of emotions, feelings, care, trust, faith and all that except the normal biological cycle...

One last thing before the final hours...
let me clear one accusation against me...
The world says " Its all that your mind feels this way.. things aren't that bad"

but let me tell you all family, friends, colleagues, well-wishers and enemies....

"Ye meri wafa ka sila hai to koi baat nahi..

Ye dard tumse mila hai to koi baat nahi..

yehi bahut hai ki tum dekh rahe ho kinare se...

main doob rahan hoon to koi baat nahin..

..koi baat nahin...."

Good luck for life and have fun... friends,family..

signing off
Me 'n mA LoNE souL