Jobs

15:50 hrs
12th February

The forty privileged flashed the red – bed notice board on being short listed for interviews at a leading software firm. There were only two khans of the selected lot, the rest being to the other caste. I thought to remind,
...My name is Khan and ..I’m not a terrorist.

Actually this is the lamest of the excuse that I figure out to disguise my personal failure. It wasn’t a test of knowledge neither skill, because both of them certainly has no reverence with my career or rather my life. It was simply a test of arrogance. It was a test of ego. It was a test of patience, personality and perspective.

I don’t regret to fail a test of brains. I recollect saying that I’m an engineer by certificate, by paper, by record, by a name plate, by vocabs, by tyranny, by fate, by destiny but unfortunately not by potential.
I lack the least of Logitech (logic + technology) reasoning. I do regret to have failed in my actual mission. I do regret to have deceived my family for all the trust they have shown and in the end failing to even differentiate between a voltage and a current.

I feel really ashamed to be back at this portal. I have this feeling for the first time in the entire four years. I confirmed upon my login details at this blog, when suddenly the status bar grinned while the menu bar pitied my condition.
I was pulled down to earth on the very concept that I boasted to have it me by potential.
The power to capture people by words, to gather praises through verbs, to heal every pain with an adverb came down to a mere curb.

I regret the very fact to have my head high merely for being familiar with a few extra word meanings.
Isn’t it shameful to boast around your literature in front of few who might have been deprived of their vocabulary for reasons out of their own control? There might be many responsible of the failure ranging form the country, atmosphere & environment. All these natural factors have no human control.

What difference does it make whether I say an exotic evening or an enjoyable evening, a horrendous task or a simply a difficult problem. Does using any of un common word meanings elevate me above my position. What do I actually prove in front of my people.

Apart from gathering some praises, do these words make any differences in the lives of the people, be it not difference, after being in touch with writing continuously for the past four years. I fail a simple test of some un common or rather in different words and meanings.

Do I still have the right to be at this portal and continue my boring thesis of life ?
Does this literature matter any more after all the truths being laid down to earth?

The amount of regrets mounts up as the giant clock completes 360 degrees of its rotation.
I don’t repent to have not qualified the test. I do follow a simple rule, not to have thought backs on things that have already passed through your life.

I regret to have let down people regarded with me. I regret to have let down all the expectations. I regret to have snatched a little smile on some faces, which would have quelled up at the moment of my success.
I lost a chance to do the extremely little for a faithful soul.

I don’t apologies today, because the five letter diplomatic word never rolls back tears. It does not return life, it certainly does not revert a foul experience neither does it change the prevalent circumstances. The word stands alone with its pure diplomacy.

.. my name is not khan..
..and I am nothing..

(huh! not even a terrorist)

Signing off..
mE ‘n mA lonE SouL