Life at IU

17th July 2006
16:35 (local time)

..through the lush green fields, 13 miles from the main city, the red burnt bricks laid on the path leading into the entrance of the 3 storey, flower domed monument… my eyes scrolled through the piece of paper in my hand …. New Boys Hostel, IU….
The Chief warden ringed a warm welcome as I stood in front him for the allotment of my room, I was numbered 405, my IQ calculated, I was the 1215th accused entering the premises, with three thrown into each cell(room)…

The first month went by in light of the autumn leaves, it flew with the dry plant protrudes in a nowhere land. I sat hours in memories of my lost birth land, my colleagues, my family, my ‘friends’..
..sleepless nights and the broken heart cried the distance from life long pals, café’s, billiard points, not to forget my lovely lane, my lovely locality, my favorite lamp post..
..missing the cigarette points, the coaching classes, the snack point, the personal teenage scuffles, the pledges to keep the spirit of friendship alive, the wait for one(who would always be late…), the conclusion of the day, the beginning of a new morning, the hello’s the good bye’s..

Fellows(MEe) advised me to cope with the situation keeping in mind the fact that “some things in life can never be helped, even if causes all the pain and suffering..”
..walking on the path of building up a new life, a new beginning , a new climax, a new web of my complex life, I started a life..
The main reason behind me avoiding the interaction with fellow room mates, “I really hate the cheap, fucking Indian mentality..”. I hated it then, I hate it know.. I didn’t even thought them to be humans, wonder when did I develop this ego..? Or Does this place deserve this treatment..?
Wonder…

..wondering at these aspects I gradually begun at the path of my life..
.. In no time we friends began a life at this place, we(9 of us..), facing the atrocities inflicted upon the so called “seniors”, and coping with the tough engineering course..
My peer group was pretty ambitious, forceful, adventurous, and only within two months pledged to be together for the entire period of the course(4 years). It grew quiet steadily at an alarmingly large pace. Philosophers believe “great beginnings have glimmer endings”….
I never wanted to think upon this matter but again “some things in life can never be helped…..”

It was mid September , the winters had just begun and we were off to a trip to the historic Indian city of ‘Rampur’ famous for its weapons and armory during the ancient times and known as the land of ‘Azam Khan ‘ the modern active political leader of the area.
All this had nothing to do a great deal with our trip, we just had plans for a visit to the home of one of our fellow mates .

It was a tiring journey of more than 6 hours through the plains of northern India, my first journey on the train without my family. The train arrived at the station late by 3 hours as I waited blatantly with my new peer group. It was all normal until we met a group of females planned to traverse the same distance as us.
We belonged to the same college, so introduction had no meaning. After a long wait the tracks rattled beneath at the arrival of the train and we boarded a pretty busy compartment. It was a joyous time as we traversed along singing, chatting and having loads of fun.. It felt like college life had begun..

The journey was quiet successful and enjoyable but had a last long effect on the mind of the fellas. Two of them immediately fell in love with the females we went along.
Night long phone chats, frequent visit to the malls and theaters and lovely college evenings.. They felt as if they have attained their heaven. By god’s sake they never knew that it would a short and bitter ending., but I always predicted their fate… I was mocked
..time had come that the lovers returned to me with a broken heart and lost memories..
This fellow changed entirely after this incident, he broke down to an extent that he completely lost the feelings and trust on any individual. He feared to be deceived once again..
A little chat with me.. I said “ buddy have faith..”

Its that day and this that we have come so close that probably our existence depend upon each other. The latter might not have the same feelings but I do. Only after this was I able to express my true feelings living in India. I got an excuse to live on at this place after all the difficulties and hardships. I got an angels revelation that life is not easy all the times, it has its own ups ad downs..
..It made me wonder how a soul could be living after all these agony without smoke or elixir..
All this and many more let me continue, here at the IU.

The days passed along happily with every new morning having a different flavor to enlighten the growing roots of the relationship. The life at the campus improved at the right pace with we having gatherings at the in situ food point or the quiet popular NescafeÓ parlor.
New relationships were being developed and fresh colleagues entered our peer group, providing further enthusiasm and joy. Their arrival pretty much helped the sex ratio in our group which was much one sided until then.
Days went by with certain of them going down our own personal history records, like the 13 September birthday bash or the memories of the ragging time that had been stopped.
..we now awaited the much anticipated ‘fresher’s party’ at our hostel..

18th February
12:00 am
I slipped the sharp knife past the chocolate creamed 5 storey cake as I celebrated my 18th birthday on the stage of the fresher’s carnival. It was quiet a pleasure amidst a decent crowd to celebrate on the centre stage. This was probably one of the best times in my short stand at the IU hostel.

One of them came on the eve of 14th February while celebrating the birthday of a fellow friend. I succeeded in providing him the best of surprise through his gift.. I rejoiced as he rendered the beautiful moment.
For the first time my heart told me that I had done a favor to someone.
The moments were filled with gay as we danced the whole night..

The days passed along happily and probably swiftly. Witnessing the successful conclusion of Campus Fiesta - 07 we replenished the moments we spent together and hoped that one day the pages of history would be turned for the moments to be lived again.

All this but I never felt secure at this place. Small bitter quarrels with the fellows came to be the shadow of my life at the hostel, except for the fellow who inspired me to live on until things be your way..
I really never relished the fun to the depth of my heart.. I always missed my birth land..
..for the all the happiness lived only a short moment for me..
I lived every moment with a hope to reunite with my birth land..

I remember the moment I sat helpless at room 403 crying at my fate, I felt helpless and pathetic with this portal being my only support, I sat down weeping at my study table penning down the voice of my heart…
I remember the Sundays that seemed to be the paths of hell..
..all the joy happiness never lived longed for me, I felt cheated and left alone even in the group of 11..
..probably eleven would have been unlucky for me, but I never knew…

My life at this place was a continuous struggle between my thoughts and my works as I never attained the peace of mind.
Looking back at the pages of history, I wonder why didn’t I ever enjoy the moments of joy to its full?
.. An old query popped up,
Am I psychopathic?

Leaving behind the matters of my life I thought to live on at this place for the sake of a friend, until..
There came a night that a few drunken seniors entered our room. There was an old rivalry on. They abused my friend badly and bruised him as we watched helplessly…
This really was an end to the thoughts of being together when no one came forward in the rescue of a fellow colleague being bruised in spite of we being in so many numbers.
The pledge of being together no longer held the truth, the trust had been lifted upon, the spirit of oneness no longer lived.. There was no point to live know as feelings of bitterness had developed among selves..

25th April 2007
..the day when I and him decided to leave the hostel..
..we left the hostel and the peer group at their own peril and headed on for a different new life in the city. I really never liked the place but it mattered for my friend as he had different plans for beautiful and fruitful hostel life.
Once again.. “some things in life can never be helped..”
The life took a dramatic change with different routine probably giving better times to both of us..

..and I hope that live on in a better way to revive the ways of life and live on in the hope to reunite the smoked souls and be happy ever again…

Signing off..
mE ‘n mA lonE soUl