Sunday, March 21, 2010

Patched soul


This entry is an announcement of sorts. With a lot of rants.

Smoked Souls is a lovely place to be. It is one of the best places i have been to. I deal with my emotions over here. This blog has always been a toxic cesspool of emotional junk with bits and pieces of happiness floating in it. Nope. Drowning in it.

Fuck the fact that nobody reads this blog. Except for MeE and the lonely soul plus one. And a few random stumblers. I hope. ( remember what i said earlier about the cesspool???)

But this place means a lot to me. I know for a fact that i haven't contributed enough for this blog.i remember that this blog was started by me just in order to share two lives that were connected by the awful and extremely pathetic habit of smoking. Lungs got fucked. So what? God gave us each two of that.
I haven't been fair to this place. Or any entries that i have made in the recent past. This blog used to be a dream for all of us involved in it. But the dream ended and one fine day, i just stopped writing. What i effectively did by doing this is that i stopped communicating with a few people i had a connection with. And the whole point of this blog was that. To let all of us know how we were.

I think more than anything else, i blog for attention.
Or maybe in the vague hope that someone somewhere understands me and can connect with me. Or maybe i don't have a life.
I shouldn't care why i blog. I know for a fact that i blog because once upon a time i enjoyed writing. I enjoyed telling stories about what trivial thing happened last night.

FUCK ALL OF THAT.

I have turned into some sort of a dormant partner on this blog. I have gone through the possibilities a million times and also have spoken to Me n ma lonely soul about what i am going to do. Or rather what i need to do.

This is the end of the road for MeE to be a part of SMOKED SOULS. I still am everything i used to be when this blog was created.Except for my soul.

I have become a patched soul today. Somebody who is trying not to smoke and keeps sticking patches on himself, not knowing that one day when he finally removes the patches, he will run back to the very smokes that drains his soul and kills his body.

So ladies and gentlemen (both imaginary and real),

I guess what lies right above this sentence is the last entry i am going to contribute to this blog. And the person this blog is really meant for is Mr. lonely soul (the way i have written his name is absolutely creepy. i personally felt that he was a rapist when i proofread this). He has grown into a beautiful writer who often causes fits of rage and jealousy in me...nevertheless, i am sure that he will carry this blog quite easily and comfortably upon his shoulders. And i am sure that both of us will continue reading the crap we seem to enjoy writing and reading...

Thank you all for reading (and also for pretending to know like you can read. Hello Americans!)

Goodbye.

MeE (now a patched soul)

JB Signin off....