In touch with introverts

Samineh I. Shaheem (Out of Mind) / 12 May 2012 


In a world where many sing to tunes such as life’s one big party, time is money, seize the day, you are who your friends are, where we are quickly judged by the impression we make in the first 7 seconds of meeting someone, life can be quite tough, tiring and confusing for introverts.
 
More than ever now we’ve realised that there are copious myths around the introverted personality type, they often get a bad rap and are a highly misunderstood bunch. This bewilderment affects both the introvert as well as the people they interact with.

If you know someone who needs to spend many hours alone every day, who is reflective, has an uncanny ability to concentrate and loves one on one conversations about the important things in life, but seems awkward in groups and unskillful at small talk then chances are you know an introvert. This person needs to be dragged to parties and throughout the night, they prefer to sit in a quitter corner, observing other people and just thinking. Others often check on them 3 or 4 times an evening to make sure ‘they are ok.’

Introverts like to figure out what exactly they’re going to say before saying and if they’re not ready for a conversation they’re likely to remain quiet. Often times, they’re accused of being cold, lack social skills, arrogant, boring and socially heavy.

Some of the social preferences and traits of introverts are:

• They have only a few close friends but their friendships are often intense and more sincere
• Do more listening/thinking than talking
• Talk to family members and not to strangers as much
• Like solitary activities, like reading
• Love being alone
• Less dependent on approval from others
• Dislike being centre of attention
• They are calm and peaceful by nature and self-controlled
• Reluctant to join in new activities or games
• Like creative tasks
• Observant and are extra sensitive
• Not very expressive
• Psychological studies substantiate that 70% of gifted children are introverts
• Because of the fear of failure they may avoid having new experiences
• They take time in making decisions and if rushed they feel extremely uncomfortable and sometimes refuse to talk at all

One of the most common misconceptions is that introverts are shy. We now know that shyness has nothing to do with being an introvert since they’re not necessarily timid or nervous around others. It’s just that they need a reason to interact and it doesn’t help that they’re very comfortable around silence, conversation gaps and don’t feel the need to just talk about anything for the sake of talking.

Despite the fact that there are many famous and successful introverts such as Albert Einstein, Mark Zuckerberg, Julia Roberts and Bill Gates, many people are not very accepting or rewarding of this type of personality trait. We admire obviously confident, bold and gregarious individuals and judge the more reflective types as being weird or problematic.

Studies have proved that introverts are physiologically more sensitive than extroverts – they can’t interact with others as much and when they do, they often feel drained and need to be alone to recharge. When overstimulated, an introvert’s mind can actually feel like it is shutting down so it becomes hard for them to think or talk. It is this, along with other such characteristics that have proven introverts to be more susceptible to psychological and physiological health risks than extroverts.

Introverts have so much to give and are talented in many ways. The more we learn about them, the better chance they have of being true to their composition rather than acting the way society, friends, family or loved ones want them to act. Once an introvert grasps the many positive aspects of their character, they will be able to better explain/understand their actions, behaviours, opinions and attitude.

These strong silent types need to be equally appreciated as the social butterflies. They are not being dark, distant or difficult, they are just different so since when did differences become deficiencies?

Remember, learning more, results in living more…over to you…

Samineh I Shaheem is an author, an assistant professor of psychology, currently lecturing in Dubai, as well as a cross-cultural consultant at HRI. She has studied and worked in different parts of the world, including the USA, Canada, UK, Netherlands, and the UAE. She co hosts a radio program (Psyched Sundays 10-12pm) every Sunday morning on Dubai Eye 103.8 FM discussing the most relevant psychological issues in our community.

Reference: http://www.khaleejtimes.com/nation/inside.asp?xfile=/data/nationhealth/2012/May/nationhealth_May25.xml&section=nationhealth