Calculations seem to be a bit misplaced, 11K hours since the last post, I promised myself to be regular over here but it does not seem to be that easy. I’m currently through a complex concussion of thoughts that don’t seem to have any beginnings neither an end. I will try to stitch together from where I left.
Ash-aaron mei talkhian bani baat hi thi,
Jo hum pe hai guzri hamei yaad sab
Nearly 700 hours later, staring at a hand held device I had an original with me, I don’t know if I could ever post it here. It’s very rare to have a post not see the display world, it has happened before though. (It’s a very old rhetoric, but I cant help myself) so who cares? Some one who did does not any more, some others do not have time any more, a few others have a lot to care themselves, and many others do not need to care.
Being in the midst of thoughts, shortly after I landed back at my homeland. It was a new year, but the essence of landing in this city has always been the same. There is a sense of security, love, pride and passion every time the flight touches down on the tarmac, welcome home right?
It was not easy to have made this move, having being questioned at every step, having questioned the quintessential essence of the bond that I had. It hurts, but I don’t know. It’s been more than a third of a decade now, its been from the cradle the grave.
Cliché! Right? I did not even know the meaning of this when I first picked the line during my grad years, just a few seconds ago it made a lot of sense.
Umr beet jaati hai zindagi ke sawalon ke jawab dhundte,
Awr jab mljaye jawab, to zindagi sawal badal deti hai
You spent a life untangling the facts and myths of life,
And when you thought it was done, you were presented with a new puzzle
The translation is for you Americans! It’s been time you learnt something new. Coming back to the cliché, it’s the hope which keeps you alive to have a different tomorrow, what seemed to be an un-ending loop, suddenly turned around as I stared through a black and white image supposed to be a living being. We were getting ready to welcome our next generation, it’s not easy to deal with a corporate world and a dynamic personal health situation. It’s not easy to balance the two worlds and keep them happy. It’s not easy to carry both logs and run the same distance in each direction. It’s not easy to hold the two ends without losing any. It’s not easy to drive and swim the same motorized matter. It’s not easy to be in the air and the ground without hurting any.
It’s not easy to carry a life in you and live your life your way. I understand, I try to care, my sweet old rhetoric, but who else cares?
A few months later what started as a normal lazy day, changed, the sun shone a bit longer, the wind blew a bit soother, the pigeons sang the victory song, the leaves danced the joyous tone, the flowers bloomed a bit brighter, the heart felt a bit lighter, the eyes swelled a bit larger, the angels came a bit later, a new life was born. I could not imagine my eyes, an innocent love formed a part of my life, I could not hold myself as I left the scene with a tear in my eyes.
We drank and sang, and cliché (as if I care) as I said,
Mere rashke-qamar, tune pehli nazar,
Jab nazar se milayi, maza aagya
Translation? I’m feeling lazy you could Google, if you care. It’s really difficult nowadays to have your thoughts stream in sequence to make such posts, I certainly have grown old though. Having returned to where I was born, live with the love of my life, welcomed my innocent love and have decent monthly payments, does not always guarantee a desired state of mind. Am I being un-grateful? , Well I cannot be the judge of my own decisions, but trust me on this one that stupid corporates, is a mad race to have participated in. I’m still grappling to get a hold with no clue in mind.
Kabhi kisiko mukammal jahan nahi milta,
Kabhi zameen nahi milti, kabhi aasman nahi milta,
Chiraag jalte hai, binai bhujne lagti hai,
Khud apne ghar mei ghar ka nishaan nahi milta
Abruptly…@ 35000 ft above sea level
Signing off,
mE 'n mA LonE soUL
P.S. I will be back soon
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