I'm back from wherever I was, I don't know its very different from the last time that I was here. I do not have the understanding of time, there is been a lot missed in between these years. I just tried recording my stupid voice thinking that I could not write anymore, thinking that recording a monologue be the new way of being in my world, guess I was adopting technology (podcast yeah !) but then I'm old school .. I don't know, I just realized that how artificial it sounds.
I realized that it really does not have any emotions, I realized that it lacked depth, I realized it was not me .. I just realized that the lines above really do not have a certain sequence / grammar / prose for a paragraph composition but do I REALLY CARE !! .. guess i just found my self.
I realized that voice recording was not true, it is really difficult to comprehend truth to be honest, but then what is truth ? Isn't it just a perspective ? An argument that I put forward , any opinion that I write, any thought which I express, it is the reader who is judging the truth but then what guarantees that the judge (in this case you) has no bias ? In retrospect the articles I read, the voices I hear the visuals I see, I judge the truth in them, what is the assurance that I'm not biased ?
cōnscientia (genitive cōnscientiae) (fem.)
A word that has been long lost, a word that was actually meant to be true, a word that cannot be supported by facts, a word that cannot be braced by voices, a word that cannot be sustained by actions, a word that cannot be backed by words, a word that remains hidden till the end of words.
Ek Soch Aqal Se Phisal Gai
Mujhy Yaad Thi Kay Badal Gai
Meri Soch Thi Kay Wo Khawab Tha
Meri Zindgi Ka Hisab Tha
Meri Justajo Kay Baraks Thi
Meri Mushkilo Ka Wo Aks Thi
Mujhy Yad Ho To Wo Soch Thi
Jo Na Ya Ho To Wo Guman Tha
The constant fight with self-hypocrisy remains at large, the battle with the impressions continue as I keep hitting the keyboard fulfilling broken promises, this space is my reprise, it is an echo chamber that hears me, it is a sound that never betrays it's a while that always stays .. I was humming a classic after seeing my little lad opening his eyes into a world which no one has ever known, hours travelled in multiples and the little child was now a little boy in my new world.
This is not really not easy but then, I remember talking to the love of my life how I missed the little joys while I ran the corporate race, not realizing that I was running without a point. Corporates are a different dimension, an enticing labyrinth, an encircling compass, aeonian war where you intend to survive like a million others.
propositum n (genitive propositī)
It's where I'm today, a "Family man" as my little angel entered my world two years ago I couldn't believe what had just happened ! There is no joy that could have replaced this, there is no toy that could have played this, there is no troy that could have weighed this, there is ploy that could fade this, my little angel, I really love you .. and my boy I love you too.
I really don't know where this is going but then it was not meant to be, it is the cause that matters, its the purpose that bothers, it is the solution that caters. I have always been here, have always been there, have always been around, have always been beside but the agony never ends, the allegation never amends.
I know I will be back here, there is a lot that is unsaid..
Nya paane ki chahat mei purana chuth jaata hai
Tujhe apnaun to mujhse zamana ruth jaata hai
Mohabbat parhne likhne mei bhut asaan hai lekin
Mohabbat ko nibhane mei pasina chuth jaata hai
@18:40
Signing off ..
mE 'n mA LonE soUL
No comments:
Post a Comment